This was simply amazing. Though in order for this to get posted on EqD it might require some re-formatting, but nonetheles this is still a very enjoyable read.
There were two neat picks that I noticed. One was Luna saying 'everywhere I go, PEOPLE keep looking at me' I believe that should be changed to PONIES. And two was Rarity saying 'oh my god'. It's not that I'm being PC or anything, but I feel like the word GOD doesnt belong the pony world. Maybe you can change it to something like GOSH or GOODNESS or something else along those lines.
My only real complaint is that some parts feel pretty rushed especially the ones dealing with Mac's and Blueblood's transformations. However judging by the rest of the story those bits feel like they are like this on purpose.
This was simply amazing. Though in order for this to get posted on EqD it might require some re-formatting, but nonetheles this is still a very enjoyable read.
ReplyDeleteThere were two neat picks that I noticed. One was Luna saying 'everywhere I go, PEOPLE keep looking at me' I believe that should be changed to PONIES. And two was Rarity saying 'oh my god'. It's not that I'm being PC or anything, but I feel like the word GOD doesnt belong the pony world. Maybe you can change it to something like GOSH or GOODNESS or something else along those lines.
My only real complaint is that some parts feel pretty rushed especially the ones dealing with Mac's and Blueblood's transformations. However judging by the rest of the story those bits feel like they are like this on purpose.
Once again, this was a great read.